Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Tonight I had to fend for myself. Kristie was away most of the evening. Fear not I had plenty of food stashed in the fridge. And I was able to spend the time expanding my knowledge by reviewing a well known, highly regarded, much watched educational film.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail ( Special Edition )

I learned several useful factoids I need to share.

  • Fact One: First off with the approaching Halloween season I learned that the best way to identify a witch is NOT from her appearance. No it is best to weigh her. If she weighs less than a duck then she must float. If she can float she must be made of wood which floats. If wood floats then she's a witch !!
?? Or something like that. ??

  • Fact two: A really good French insult is "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
  • Fact three: African or European Swallow, doesn't really matter neither can carry a coconut. However like the guards that are concerned with the flight patterns of swallows, I have began extra outside studies. ( see below )
  • Fact four : ( this is the most critical fact ) Be very afraid of Killer Bunnies. Should you encounter a Killer Bunny there is but one solution. The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch !
Here are the instructions for it's use.
"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin.
Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest th
ou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe......."

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