The first half of my week was not very productive. There have been too many of those lately. You see after a great relaxing weekend I thought I was ready for any challenge. I was wrong. Early in the week I was ‘spinning my wheels’. Facing the same problems and issues yet achieving little in the way of results. It had gotten so bad I've been seriously wondering if stuck has become the new normal in my world. I felt like I'd become a character in the movie “Groundhogs Day”. Facing the same situations, reacting to them by doing the same things, then acting surprised when I got and getting the same results. I had fallen into the trap. I was confined to the same old system producing the same old results week after week.

That doesn't just happen to people. It occurs in organizations too. Business, charities, clubs, groups and churches, YES especially churches can all fall victim to the trap of doing it the same way over and over, while achieving little progress.

Tony Morgan has a unique outlook and great style of communicating. In his coming book "Hanging Up the Leisure Suit: How to Get Unstuck” the 2nd in the Leisure suit series, Tony outlines steps for getting 'unstuck'. He shows ways of breaking free of the past and moving ahead. And he does it in a very readable manor that should work for anyone. From regular people to business leaders to senior staff and pastors.

We all get stuck. Sometimes we don't even know it. In his previous book Tony showed why this happens. He related how the same old thinking is rather like continuing to wear that Leisure Suit you had worn so proudly "back in the day". That look is outmoded in today’s world just as many ideas, styles and practices are outmoded by current standards. He teaches how foundations, systems and strategies need to be updated in order to meet the challenges of today. As I said, some people don't even know they are stuck. Because of this, Tony thoughtfully offers an assessment type quiz for you and your organization to take.

I totally needed this book this week in my personal life. Several of the thoughts and ideas I learned can put into practice right NOW. Then I’ll take those thoughts and apply them to my small group leadership. I’m looking forward to the results.

This book came at a perfect time for me. If you are a leader of a church, business or any group you should read this book and take the quiz. Maybe you are like me an individual condemned to simply taking the same old steps but moving nowhere. Feeling like you are knee deep in quicksand of non-progress. If so then by all means read this book, take the quiz and apply the ideas within it. It’s an easy fun read, yet could be one of the most effective tools you’ll find.

We need to "Mind the Gap" between vision and execution The gap between goals and action. Mind the gap lest you slip into it and fall under the train.

I came across this article on the web today about how the drug runners are becoming more creative and more high tech in their smuggling. It has become an ever changing battle just to keep up in the Drug Wars

It seem they have a new tool. A drug running submarine. Here it is after capture.

Colombian Marines seized a makeshift submarine capable of smuggling up to 12 tonnes of whatever. It was large enough to have space for four crew members.

I don't need it for smuggling anything, let alone drug running but wouldn't it be cool to own a sub?

At least one U.S. company are marketing one. The Phoenix 1000. And it's a big one. At over 2oo feet long ( 213 ) with more than 5000 sq feet of space on four levels. The web site doesn't list a price but you can imagine I am sure.

A little more realistic is the Triton 1000. Made by the same company the Triton is 3 meters long and seats two people.

Still no mention of the price but again I suspect it is well beyond my budget.

Maybe I should just build my own. Lets see here. I have a a couple 55 gallon drums and lot of garden hose and a hack saw. I'm thinking bike pedals for power and an old broken oar as a rudder.

Let me get back to you on this one after I draw up some plans.

The Opposite of Progress ?




Congress

Maybe it's time to clean house and start over

Do you suffer from Triskaidekaphobia?

Fear of the number 13.

If you do then today must really be tough. It’s estimated 17 to 21 million people in the United States have a fear of Friday the thirteenth. So many the symptom even has a name Paraskavedekatriaphobia.

Some people are so paralyzed by fear that they avoid doing business, taking flights or even getting out of bed. What is really strange is that most of the people can offer no explanation at all, logical or illogical. They just have a fear for its own sake.

The superstition does have deep roots that may explain why the fear is so widespread today.

The number thirteen and Friday both have been considered unlucky:

In some places the number twelve is considered a good number.
• as in the twelve months of the year, • the twelve tribes of Israel • twelve Apostles of Jesus • twelve hours in a day, twelve hours of night

But the number thirteen is considered a bad number.

• At the Last Supper, thirteen people were seated at the table. The 13th was a traitor. And Friday is considered the day on which Jesus Christ was crucified, which is viewed as both good and bad by Christians

Are you afraid of Friday the 13th? Are you taking any extra precautions? Or is it just another amusing day for you?

In any rate be careful especially with mirrors and whatever you do please and watch out for back cats open umbrellas and ladders.
Disclaimer: No I don’t believe in any luck good or bad other than the luck you make.






A classic repost

GEEZER TEST! ARE YOU "OLDER THAN DIRT?"


Where did headlight dimmer switches used to be located?

a. On the floor shift knob
b. On the floor, left of the clutch
c. Next to the horn

2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle has holes in it. For what was it used?

a. Capture lightning bugs.
b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing
c. Large salt shaker

3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?

a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce
b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled
c. Milkmen left deliveries outside doors and milk would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?

a. Blackjack
b. Gin
c. Craps

5. What method did women adapt to look as if they were wearing stockings when none was available due to rationing during W.W.II?

a. Suntan
b. Leg painting
c. Wearing slacks

6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?

a. Studebaker
b. Nash Metro
c. Tucker

7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?

a. Strips of dried peanut butter
b. Chocolate-licorice bars
c. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside

8. How was Butch wax used?

a. To stiffen hair cut into a flattop so it stood up
b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing
c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust

9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes?

a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key
b. Woven straps that crossed the foot
c. Long pieces of string or twine

10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?

a. Consider all the facts
b. Ask Mom
c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo

11. What was the worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex?

a. A cold
b. VD
c. Cooties

12. "I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey?"

a. SUV
b. Taxi
c. Streetcar

13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony?

a. Old Blue
b. Paint
c. Macaroni

14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?

a. Part of the game of hide and seek
b. What you did when your mom called you in to do chores
c. Hiding under your desk, covering your head with your arms in an A bomb drill

15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?

a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
b. Princess Sacajewea
c. Princess Moonshadow

16. What did all really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school?

a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you "high"
b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window
c. Wrote another pupils name on the top, to avoid failure

17. Why did your mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?

a. To keep you out of mischief licking the backs, which tasted like bubble gum
b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items
c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick on tattoos

18. "Praise the Lord, and pass the _________?"

a. Meatballs
b. Dames
c. Ammunition

19. What was the name of the group who made the song "The Gypsy" a hit in the US?

a. The Ink Spots
b. The Supremes
c. The Esquires

20. Who left his heart in San Francisco?

a. Tony Bennett
b. Zavier Cugat
c. George Gershwin

ANSWERS

1. b) On the floor, left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe, took till the '60s to catch on.

2. b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?

3. c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top.

4. a) Blackjack Gum.

5. b) Special makeup was applied followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.

6. a) 1946 Studebaker.

7. c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.

8. a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.

9. a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.

10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

11. c) Cooties.

12. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight!

13. c) Macaroni.

14. c) Hiding under your desk, covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.


16. a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get "high."


***Two other answers Could be appropriate:

b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window

c. Wrote another pupil' s name on the top, to avoid their failure


17. b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household items at the Green Stamp store.

18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.

19. a) The all male, all black group, The Inkspots.

20. a) Tony Bennett and he sounds just as good today.

SCORING

17 — 20 correct: You are not only older than dirt, but obviously gifted with mind bloat. Now if you could only find your glasses.

12 — 16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but your mind is definitely muddy.

0 – 11 correct: You are a sad excuse of a geezer. Redeem yourself by declaring to everyone that the world is going to hell in a handbasket.

I have always heard girls are cleaner than guys.

Today while cleaning our bathrooms I started to contemplate that theory. I think I may be on to something. Cleaning her shower I noticed three bath cloths and a puff. Four shampoos including one that has something called JoJoBa in it. I saw two conditioners and two bottles of body wash and a tube of paste-like stuff called apricot scrub. Also present was a brush-style thingy and a hunk of seaweed ( I think ) that is used to soften the heals of your feet. I may be wrong about that last idea. There was a whole end with space taken by a cup and a razor. The shave cream was in a tube there as well. Oh yeah I forgot to mention the extra large bars of Dove and Ivory soap. Finally I noticed a bottle of Tilex to clean the shower after each use.

Moving to my bathroom, in my shower I have a bath cloth, a well rounded bar of Dial or some generic soap I donno which. A bottle of peach shampoo ( 99 cents ) and one of those bottles of Tilex ( her idea ) which I forget to use about half the time.

Lets see the score here:

Her Shower; 20 items

My shower; 4 items

My theory: with that many items to contribute she must be at least five times cleaner than me.
Just my thought.. what is your theory?

Did I mention that she always smells incredible?

Daylight savings time is a pain in the clock.

Lets see now, last week I reset the clocks. The one on the stove in my kitchen, the microwave, the coffee maker and of course the one on the wall. In my living room I have one on top of the entertainment center. Five on electronic devices ( tv dvd, vcr and so on ) along with two lamp timers. Two additional stereo timers, a programing timer, and a clock near my easy chair. Two in my home office not counting the three on the computers. Then there is the one connected to the alarm system and the one in the answering machine. Two in the hall, one on the thermostat, and one on the indoor/ outdoor temperature receiver. One on the clock radio in the guest room, one in the other bedroom. Four in the master bedroom ( two alarms each, yes we are odd ) One in each automobile and one in the garage. Several watches. Two in the plane. Ok I admit the GPS units in the plane and cars set themselves. So do the cell phones and pda's. Still by my count there is a heap of resetting going on in my small world.

It appears that a time warp going on inside my house. Is it a time warp, a distortion of the space and time continuum? Could Einstein be wrong? The clock on my thermostat and the one on the indoor / outdoor thermometer both have been off one hour twice in the past week. I corrected the error last Wednesday morning and just tonight I noticed the discrepancy again.

Should I be worried, I mean isn't a rip in the fabric of time serious?

Stay tuned to this blog page. Updates may well follow and they could unmask a vast shift in time as we know it. ...

Or maybe I just set them wrong ...twice.

Be right back

I am busy contemplating one of world slipperiest mysteries.

Why does Teflon stick to the pan?



Seriously it has been a busy week but I shall return asap.

WISDOM ??

Two little boys were coloring eggs for Easter.

The older brother says," I'll give you a dollar if you let me bust three of these raw eggs on your head". "

Ok, " said the little brother

So he raps his brother on the head twice breaking two eggs and laughing as the slimy mess ran down his the little guy's face. Then he puts the third egg down and starts walking away.



"You said three, where's the third one? " the smaller boy inquires.

The bigger child, being filled with so much more worldly wisdom replies, " It isn't coming."

"What? Why? " the brother asks

To which the older brother answers," That one would cost me a dollar "

approaching geezerdom

I’ve learned there is one rule of senior living that's as immutable as gravity, God's Commandments, or Star Trek's Prime Directive.

It's the First Rule of Geezerdom: Never ask, "How you doing?"

Why?

If you ask, they will tell. And tell. And tell.

I always thought folks talked mainly about people, things, and ideas. Not so. In AARP World, we seldom speak of anything but our own aches and pains.

And we're darn proud of it!

The vocabulary of elder illness, both real and imagined, is vast. Violate the First Rule with a 70-year-old just back from seeing her doctor, and she'll go on for an hour on everything from dandruff to death.

She'll render you speechless, obligated to pay heed to her diabetes, dermatitis, depression, delirium, dementia, deafness, dermatitis, dropsy, double vision, diverticulitis, and dyschezia, (Dyschezia?) And that's just the D's.

Brain Transplants and Other Bragging Rights

With such focus on grumbling, it shouldn't surprise anyone to learn that there's a rigid subculture here, not unlike the military.

We seniors wear our ailments like battle ribbons. Bragging rights go to those who have most challenged their physicians.

A brain transplant instantly confers four-star status on any senior.

On the other hand, if you've reached age 70 without a heart bypass, or at least a couple of angioplasties, you're not even in the game.

A quadruple bypass, for example, usually confers starter honors at the shuffleboard court. Not always. A sudden, even temporary lose of sight will push that bypass off the court. (Of course, that may be for competitive reasons only.)

The Second Rule of Geezerdom is that you don't want to be out-illed when you or someone talking to you violates the First Rule.

Here, for the benefit of you Boomers just now climbing up into the ranks, is a Primer on Essential Medical One-upmanship.

Like Basic Training or SATs, by the time you're 65, you are expected to have experienced the following examinations — if only to have something to talk about while bobbing at the 55+ community swimming pool.

• Colonoscopy: A procedure in which the doctor drives a double-decker sightseeing bus up your butt, taking a leisurely look at everything below the stomach. The Lower GI, a medieval variation, is when you are asked to hold a bathtub of foul tasting liquid in your bowels for 20 minutes without exploding.
  
  
• Endoscopy: When your doctor and her friends drive that same bus down your throat, checking out all those unsightly erosions you hear about in Nexium ads.
  
  
• For men only, there's the dreaded Prostate Exam: Here, the physician inserts his hand, arm, shoulders and head up your butt, often inviting the nurse and others to join him. Once all is behind you, you're offered a tissue. This is not for your tears.
  
  
• For women, there's the Mammogram: After your saggy breasts are pushed up to where they used to be 40 years ago, a huge, cold machine drops down, crushing the poor old things as you gasp in pain. On the plus side, this is about the only time anyone will ask you to appear topless.

When seniors aren't carrying on about their illnesses, they're getting checkups in hope of finding something new to boast about.

Suggest lunch to a resident of an adult community, and be prepared to hear a detailed explanation on why he can't make it because of a doctor appointment, a lab procedure, dialysis, CAT Scan, cataract follow up, or all the above.

For you Boomers now invading Seniordom, here are a few more observations about aging and health. Soon...

• You'll no longer laugh at Preparation H commercials.
  
  
• You'll know all the warning signs of a heart attack.
  
  
• You'll be the first one to find the bathroom, wherever you go.
  
  
• You'll enjoy hearing about others' operations.
  
  
• You'll closely compare ingredients in bran cereal section in your grocery store.
  
  
• You'll be able to live without sex, but not without your glasses.

Welcome to the wonderful world of AARP.

By the way, did I mention my recent brain transplant?

Sometimes I listen to talk radio. Political talk radio. Shows like Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh. I don't tune in every day, but I enjoy them on occasion while driving. I find that on most issues I agree with their take. But not all.

I recently listened to Michael Savage a couple times. Though I really not wild about his style of in your face reporting, a few things he says hit a chord. I don't agree with him as much as some of the others, but I think he was right today when he said, that in this politely correct climate dissenting opinions are taboo. He asserts that the liberal politicians the left wing press actually feel deep inside that "A GOOD American, is a SILENT American. A BETTER American is a STUPID American. But that the BEST American is a SILENT, STUPID American."

The reactions to the tea parties last month seem to support his theory.

What do you think?

Why has the cost of living still not affected it's popularity?

Is the art of diplomacy the ability to say 'nice doggy' until you find a gun?

If you ordered a pizza with no toppings would you have to pay extra because it's a speciality pizza?

How can you tell what time you went to sleep?

How do they get the deer to cross at the road sign?

Life a filled with Compromise

Just about everything we think, say or do is the result of a decision we make between the various options. For example, I don't like to work. I would love nothing more than to sit around watching videos and taking naps. BUT I like to eat. And eating takes money, and to get money I have to work. It's a compromise

There are a lot of other places in my life I had to compromise.

I love airplanes. My ultimate dream would be to have a Gulfstream
GIV-SP jet to ride around the world in. But Gulfstream Jets are expensive. Even a used GIV costs over twenty-four million dollars. What I can actually afford hang glider. But I reached a compromise, found a partner and a generous banker and I now fly small Cessna.

When it comes to a house. I have always favored a modern Biltmore House or Hearst Castle style estate. What I can afford is a large cardboard box, so again I compromised found assistance and now I reside in a nice warm house.

My idea of a great ride is a Ferrari 512M Testarossa What I can afford is a skateboard. Another compromise and I drive a economical midsized car

But there are a couple places I absolutely will NOT compromise


One is peanut butter. The image of peanut butter has taken a beating recently because of the salmonella scare.
Peanut butter is a great food. As far as I am concerned there is but one brand worth eating. JIF
Jif is a peanut butter lovers peanut butter. Its not just choosy mothers who choose Jif


The other place I'll never compromise is my faith and values.

There is but One God and only One way to him. PERIOD

And it is never wrong doing the right thing morally.

What is the one thing you will not compromise on in your home? Your life?

Tomorrow is Friday the 13th. Be afraid be very afraid. Me I'm staying in the house. Mostly I shall stay in the bed with the cover pulled over my head. For sure I will not use the stove, microwave or any other items that could cause a fire or electrical shock. I'll be certain not to get anywhere near knives, scissors or razors. There is no way you'll find me with open umbrella, using a mirror, ladders, nor within yards of a black cat. Yep I think I'll just stay in bed keeping the floor covered in pillows just in case. Matter of fact I may not even peek out all day.

I'm Kidding. Bad things connected to Friday the 13th is just a silly superstition. It's a funny source of amusement more than anything else.

I do not believe in Luck good or bad in the traditional way. I do believe in random events that can be shaped by actions of self and others ( in that we make our own luck )

I graduated from Moreno Valley High School on a Friday the 13th. In June. That was a great day for me and a surprise to those who knew me I am sure. Friday June thirteenth. Extra points for the reader who figures out which year. I'll leave you a few clues.

• Daylight savings time began earlier that year.
  
• Astronauts set a space endurance record that year
• A new Airport is opened in Paris
• Atlanta - Fulton County Stadium saw a new world record set
• South America got it’s first female head of state.. No not Jungle mom
• We had two Presidents that year, one was from California
  
• Stuntman Evel Knievel was all the rage
• The world heard some Rumbles in the Jungle, specifically around Kinshasa, Zaire
• It was a very important time for Batman

Figure this out and tomorrow could be your lucky day. The winner gets a complementary subscription to my blog. WOW calm down out there.

Deep Thoughts

How come, we, as children will fight tooth and nail not to have a nap,
only to find ourselves as adults, wishing with all of our hearts that
we could?

Why is it that if you want to get something done you can either do it
yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your kids to do it?

Why is it that we can spend hundreds of dollars on the latest safest
most educational toys for our toddlers only to discover that they like
playing with a plain cardboard box or the pots and pans?

Why is it that we spend the first two years of a child's life actively
encouraging the child to speak only to shush them for all the rest of
their years with us?

How come the stuff parents give children to do when they're bored is
more boring than being bored?

Obama NOT the most watched
His TV numbers fall short

For all the media hype about how BIG it was going to be the Inauguration of President Obama was far from the biggest.

The numbers are in and Obama's TV audience was 37.8 million. That means approx 12% of the country watched at least part of the festivities. That includes children in households where the parents watched.

37.8 million watchers is a good number no doubt, but compare this to the Inauguration of President Ronald Reagan who had 41.8 million viewers way back in 1981. 18% of the population. Almost one in five people watched.

I GUESS that proves more people were interested in Ronald Reagan than Obama

Just a thought... maybe it is because we all knew who Reagan was and what he believed. And maybe it is because we the public not just the liberal media, but the ordinary people actually shared his values and cared what he had to say.

Being on the right is just RIGHT !

Well we have a new President today.

Barack Hussein Obama II was sworn-in as the he forty-fourth President of the United States.

If you know me or follow my blog you already know how I feel. P.T. Barnum was right.

I fear we are in for four very hard years. The policies and most of the people associated with this administration scare me. I am concerned that we are going to return to the very ways that got us into such a mess in the past. Liberalism has failed every time. Socialism doesn’t work. Bigger government is the wrong answer. This is the pathway it seems the new President is leading us in. Worse I believe he has no clue as to consequences of his actions.

To paraphrase, “I wonder if we will be better off in four years.”

Fear not the liberal mainstream press and Hollywood elite are telling us. An example:

President Obama himself promised to create 3 and a half million jobs recently. Then less than 30 minutes later he promised 4 million new jobs.

Shazam !!

Jobs right out of thin air.

I know I feel better. What kind of jobs and how long will they last?

I shall always revere this great nation. I am thankful to be an American, where I can post this blog without fear. I will respect the office of the President. But I don’t have to be happy about all the actions of our government.
I will promise to pray for President Obama, our other leaders and for our country.

This little light of mine

I’m gonna let it shine,

We used to sing that song in church as children. I am sure you remember it. We sang a revved-up version today in our worship service. It was fun. I wonder how many of us really shine the light. Or do we hide it under a bushel? Do we take the message of Jesus with us everywhere? Or is that reserved for Sunday school? Are we really a shining beacon for the Lord? Do we truly reflect Jesus with our every action?

This morning after singing that new version of “This Little Light”, we were singing one of my favorites “Mighty To Save” In that tune there is a phrase that says “Shine your light and let the whole world see. For the Glory of the risen King.” As we sang that in worship, many people in the auditorium lifted their hands in praise. That’s wonderful, but it got me thinking. How often do we live our normal Monday through Friday lives as if we were the true focus? Allowing our jobs, our car, the house, our hobbies, a television show, the big game, those little stresses, that day to day whatever to become most important thing to us, consuming our total focus. Were we kind to that stranger with a noisy child in line at the store when they needed a price check? Or did we give them a dirty look? During our daily commute did we cut off some guy with our car as we hurried about, all the while shouting what a jerk HE was? Are we sharing the reflection of God in our lives or do we race about as if our word was on fire?

In our busy little world, IS GOD JUST FOR SUNDAY?

I pray Lord that I always truly shine the light for the world to see. That I will always put you first. Jesus I want you to be the center in my life. Help me remember you are the light. I pray I always strive to show the world around me, all the glory of the risen king. Let me remember to take the time to show all those around me just why we raise our hands to you as we worship.

Hide it under a bushel… NO

I am gonna let it shine.

Mathew 5:16, "Let your light shine before men, that they may see your fine works and give glory to your Father who is in the heaven:"

I just read where there are as many chickens in the world as there are humans. It’s a good thing. We just ate one. Well maybe not a whole one but the bird is effectively gone now. I mean how could it count with only one leg, a back and a few other assorted parts?

Lunch time and we flat tore-up a grilled chicken. Life is great. Note to farmers of America:

Grow more chickens.

I just ran over and put my fresh cup of coffee in the microwave. I like it HOT Do you know people who do that?

I heard a funny joke today.

Two blondes were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches,

they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and

forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one blonde asked

the manager, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would

you please pronounce where we are,...very slowly?"

The manager leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr Kiiiiing."

*** Disclaimer: While I think this joke is funny it in no way reflects my opinion about a persons intelligence or how hair color effects that. My wife who is beautiful, brilliant, wise Godly woman just happens to be a blonde. And like me she enjoys a good "dumb blonde joke" from time to time. In fact, most of the ones I know, she told to me. If this offends you. Lighten-up, and get a life. Go fuss about something that actually matters. Stop bugging me.

Deep Thoughts #12

• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

• How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

• If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

• If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

• Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?